God brought you to my mind today. I’m still not sure why, but you’ve been in my heart and in my prayers all day. I even looked you up to see how life is going for you, and it seems like you’re doing well. Successes on the horizon, and a lot of dreams I know you’d had for quite some time. Congratulations!
I can’t help, though, wondering about some of the decisions you made. Why you suddenly cut me and everyone else out of your life. I guess I know why, really. You didn’t want to hear it from me that the choices you made grieved me deeply. You didn’t want the kind of friendship I was offering, to lead you to Scripture, to tell you about everything I had gone through. I wanted so desperately to help you come to a decision with your life that would have honored God AND your family, but I think you just wanted friends who would cheer you on and “support” you. Tell you you were doing the right thing, that you had to do what was right for YOU.
I wish you could see where my life is now… everything I’ve come through, everything God has taught me in the past few years. I wish I could share with you the joy that has come with finally understanding what God is doing in my life, even with all the struggles we’ve come through. My family is amazing, and the paths God is leading me down are shocking to say the least. My heart aches in knowing that I couldn’t share all of that with you.
I don’t know what God has done in your heart since then. My prayer is that He has or will bring you to your knees in sorrow over sin, and bring you so closely to His chest that you never want to let go, never want to leave. And that the only thing that matters in this world is knowing that you child/ren grow/s up desperately loving Him that deeply too.
Of course, you’ll likely never read this, never have any idea that I’ve written it. But my heart has been pouring out with such deep sadness over this all day that I had to get it out somehow. If God does lead you here, I hope you do see my love for you in this. That I have no judgement for you, as it’s CERTAINLY not my place to give that. And really, the story of our journeys to the cross don’t really matter anyway. It’s that we get there at all.
If you do see this, and you do want to break that wall down and talk, I would welcome it in a minute. I would share my journey with you and celebrate with you in yours. Above all, I pray God’s glory be done in your life, and that you be cradled in His mercy and provision in the end.